(Written July 2, 2015, probably in response to some zealot wanting to criminalize plastic bags)
"I'm not one for unnecessary laws, but..."
...you are, though.
Let me illustrate how this would play out in a place like New York City.
A
cop sees a young man wearing his pants so low that his butt is hanging
out. The cop is irritated by the sight of this and wants to give the
young man a hard time, so he stops him, hoping that in the course of a
field interview, some kind of probable cause for an arrest will reveal
itself. The young man is understandably irritated by the stop.
The young man is carrying a bag, so the cop says, "What's in that bag? What did you steal?"
"I
didn't steal nothin'! Look, I got a receipt!" and the young man opens
the bag to retrieve the paper. When he opens the bag, the cop sees a
stryofoam take-out container inside. The cop tells him styrofoam is
illegal and writes him a ticket. The young man says, "This is bullshit, I
ain't done nothin' wrong. I didn't even buy this in the city."
The
cop tells him to tell it to the judge. The young man, really irate at
this point, says, "I ain't tellin' nothing'! I ain't payin' this damn
ticket. All I did was buy lunch! You tellin' me it's illegal to buy
lunch now? You gonna have to shut down ever restaurant in this whole
goddam city!" The young man rips up the ticket.
The
cop tells him that accepting the ticket isn't an admission of guilt,
it's just an order to appear in court, and that if he's going to refuse,
the cop will have to take him into custody. The young man starts to
panic, gets louder and more belligerent, pushes the cop away, and it's
on. The cop tries to wrestle him to the ground. In the course of their
grappling, the young man puts a hand on the cop's holster and pulls, not
even realizing what he's pulling on.
The
cop has been conditioned through training to recognize this as an
attempt on his life, so he breaks free, draws his weapon, and fires two
shots. The young man gets up, facing the cop, and in a blind panic,
reaches for the gun, hoping to make the cop stop shooting him. The cop,
in turn, empties the rest of his magazine into the young man, killing
him.
For
the next six weeks, the media is awash with reports of "POLICE EXECUTE
COLLEGE VALEDICTORIAN FOR POSSESSION OF STYROFOAM." Cultural leaders of
whatever ethnic or religious group the young man was part of claim that
the police are committing genocide against their community. Liberal
academics take it seriously and jump on the bandwagon, bringing most
other educated people with them. As a result, award-winning articles and
best-selling books are published describing how the city has been
secretly engaged in ethnic cleansing for decades.
Protests
and riots happen nationwide, and pretty soon someone half a continent
away who never even knew the guy with the saggy pants murders a couple
police officers.
Every
law written has to be enforced, and enforcement is both inflexible and
extreme. So before you pass any new laws, decide how many lives it's
worth.
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